What if my kid doesn’t want to go anymore?
I tell new parents all the time, if your child is normal, (or even adult students for that matter) they are never going to always want to go. Remember when they wanted that one toy or video game? They were going to die if you didn’t get it for them. They were begging you. You got it for them and 3 weeks later, it was no longer interesting.
We expect them to run out of steam on this. That’s not a bad thing, that’s where they get to learn about commitment, how to have self-discipline, how to have perseverance and how to push through plateaus and tough spots in life.
The frontal lobe of the brain is not fully developed until we are 25 years old. That is the part of the brain for rational thought. This is why adults can rationalize, “If I go, I’m going to feel better, improve my health, learn some valuable skills and advance my belt rank.” Kids on the other hand just go, “I just want to play.” If children were qualified to make their own decisions, then why must they be under our influence until they are 18? Why can’t they just move out now?
The real power of martial arts training is that you must develop perseverance, self discipline and a strong work ethic to achieve Black Belt. Most people need help developing these things along the way, a support system, especially kids. If they don’t get that help and develop these skills, it can affect them for the rest of their lives. They can get a great education, but that’s no guarantee of a successful life. But those people, with or without a degree, who have self-discipline, perseverance and confidence tend to be very successful. Having both is better.
If you want your child to develop these things, then do not give them a choice about whether or not they want to do this. “You get to do martial arts unlike a lot of kids because we want you to have fun and learn valuable skills. It is a decision we’ve made for you, like eating right, going to bed on time and doing your chores. You know that once you are there, you are going to have a great time, I’ll even practice with you.” This can save their life, you wouldn’t let them choose to NOT learn to swim, would you?
I’ve been doing this for a very long time, over 4 decades. I’ve seen a lot of people let their kids quit and it shows later in life, sometimes in tragic and horrible ways. Dr. Joyce Brothers, famous child psychologist states, “There are few things that contribute more to developing internal self loathing in the teen and young adult years than being allowed to quit things and not see them through.”
I hear people all the time say, “I did martial arts as a kid, but my parents let me quit.” These people don’t take the blame, they blame their parents, and you can literally hear the disappointment in their voice. I’ve never heard anyone say, “Darn you mom and dad for helping me to earn my Black Belt.”
Myla wants to have fun, and this training can be overwhelming, but she has fun once she is here in class, and you know it’s good for her on many levels. Support her, get her to class and I’ll chat with her to get her re-engaged.
Her program has 7 payments left on it. If you decide to allow her to quit, those payments are still required, but you won’t lose the time you pay for. You bought a program which included one year of training. Any immediate family member, or even Myla can use that time in the future. We hold missed time in perpetuity. Let me know your decision.
