Kovar Parenting Tip # 9

Ancient Ways Martial Arts Academy
Parenting Tip of the Week

This is tip 9 of a series provided by my friend and mentor, Dave Kovar. He has published several books and each one of these brief tips can drastically change the dynamic in your household. If you are interested in his books, they are available online in Kindle format or hard copy at Amazon.com. I am honored and privileged to have such a wise mentor and friend.

Tip # 9. Explain your rules and decisions - Good parents have expectations they want their child to live up to. Give and explain to them the experience of your own priorities and judgment.

My input:

The old “Do it because I said to” is not nearly as effective in motivating long lasting behavior as explaining “why.” My kids love when I tell them stories of mistakes I made as a kid or stories of someone else to illustrate why they should do a certain thing. Often I’ll tell them of some success or other to motivate them through the tough spots.

There are times that I have said, “This is one of those decisions that I as a parent am making for you. I know some things about this situation that you are too young to know about or understand and I need to you say, “Yes Sir,” and just do it please.” These might be related to staying overnight with a kid who you don’t like or whose family you don’t trust. Maybe they want to watch a questionable show or play a graphic video game. It might be related to them thinking they can choose to not come to martial arts, school, church, etc. They can’t conceive of the end results and benefits they are going to gain from the practice of long term martial arts training, so we made that decision for them when they lacked the strength to make it themselves

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