Everyone says they want this thing, that thing, this level of happiness, this kind of relationship, this level of success, that amount of money, but the reality is that everything you want has a cost. Some things you say you want, but in reality, you don’t want it badly enough to pay the cost. You wanted to fight in the UFC, but the time, money and pain of it was too much. You wanted to become a concert pianist, but the time commitment and playing boring scales for hours at a time was too much. Most people are in love with the “idea” far more than they love the process to obtain the “idea.”
Owning a boat means you better love boat work. It can’t be what you are willing to do. It has to be what you WANT to do. You will work on it far more than you will sail it.
Running a business is not about enjoying the success, it’s about enjoying the process of running the business, working through and perfecting your routines and systems so that maybe, it gets you some kind of success. Of course, the success may ruin it for you too. No one tells you that part. You have to do it because you WANT the struggle.
Being in a strong relationship means that you better be ready to be honest, openly communicate and dedicate time to that other person, oh, and be ready to carry whatever baggage they have. You can’t be willing to do so, it’s gotta be what you WANT to do.
People without struggles, the rich, the powerful, create struggles because they have none. Hollywood stars doing drugs, cheating on their wives, gambling and over dosing. They have no struggle, so they create one.
Our ancestors who farmed did so with the plan that there would be food at the end of the season. They did back breaking work to make sure they could provide for themselves and their families. They did it ultimately for the food, but there was some enjoyment in their day to day lives, maybe the comradery, the outdoors, the animals, the healthy work, but if they didn’t enjoy the struggle, then they were just going to be miserable, day in and day out. They couldn’t focus just on the outcome. Life is too short.
We all have this vision of what we want, but the better way to look at life is to look at what kind of struggle will you enjoy doing, then do that thing.
I enjoy training in martial arts. It’s not about learning new techniques, it’s about embracing the repetitions and practicing for hours at a time to make small, incremental improvements, improvements that don’t matter, because I’m never going to use this anyway, but the process is a difficult challenge that makes me stronger and better and intrigues me. THAT’S why I do this. Not for the belts, the ability, the recognition, but literally, I do it for the struggle itself.
Today you struggled to get out of bed, to workout, to drink enough water, to stay calm in traffic, to not raise your voice to your kid or spouse, to not hate on yourself about something you said or did. Those struggles are what make you better, more capable and wiser. A perfect day, a perfect life is boring and useless. We don’t grow because of perfect days, we don’t even remember those days. I’ll take the chaos of adventure, the risk or entrepreneurship, the challenge of learning and improving. It’s how I become a better version of myself.
The struggle is where we grow, evolve and improve. Choose your life’s struggle and embrace it.
