These are some of the things parents tell us when we recommend that they stay and watch their kids in class…
“But my kid doesn’t want me to watch them in class.”
“It’s a perfect time for me to get work done in the car.”
“This is my quiet time, while they are in your class.”
“I go to the store and get all the shopping done.”
Ok, I’m going to do a little parenting lesson here. I hope I don’t offend anyone. Please keep in mind that this comes from being a successful parent, as well as from doing this for over 40 years and observing successful and not-so-successful parents.
Your kid DOES want you to stay and watch, no matter what they say. They are probably just afraid of your judgement. It is a sign that perhaps, just perhaps, they have experienced negative criticism from a parent before, or maybe they saw another parent being critical of a child and fear the same reaction. However, their subconscious DOES want you there, and wants you to support them with a thumbs up and a wink. There is nobody on this planet they want praise and admiration from more than YOU. They may say they don’t want you here because they know you don’t want to be here, but it just isn’t true. If you say to them, “I’m going to watch because I love watching you train and I don’t want to miss it,” you are telling your child how important they are to you and how important you know this training to be. Doing otherwise, tells them they are not important, and you put no value on the training. They will then put less value on the training and terrifyingly, less value on themselves.
We know you have work to do, bring it in and do it, or take 30 minutes off and come inside and read or something, then look up every so often and give them a smile. After class, tell them how proud you are of them, don’t be critical, that’s our job. We’re the coaches, you are their biggest cheerleader. Remember, it is all about positive reinforcement. It may annoy you that we will let some things we see go, but we really do know what we’re doing. If we fix it, it’s fixed. If they fix it, it’s fixed and they realize it was hard work that got them there. Whatever it is, we know that it will be fixed in time with development of strength and flexibility as well as neural learning, not through correction that makes them hate it. If you are critical, or complain about waiting for them, or complain about the cost, or the drive, they are going to want to quit. Remember what I said, there is no one on the planet they want to impress more than you. If you give them the impression that they are a burden, they will want to quit.
We all dread working out, kids too, but no one regrets the results. You may dread bringing them, but no parent EVER has regretted their child earning a Black Belt.
Bonus lesson, do you want a 100% guarantee that your child will make Black Belt? That’s easy, do class with them, earn it together. These are some of the parents who earned their Black Belt with their child here: Amy Fleece (3 kids), Caroline Coons (2 kids), Monika Man, Tish Jordan, Sarah and Eric VanZytveld, Kelly Conrad, Jeremy Peterson, Jerry Yagy, Ryan Bremner, Gina Gier, Jamie Giraldo, Crystal Hagelberg (3 kids), Lori Henderson, Jamie Meirowsky (2 kids), John and Jennifer Miller (2 kids), Christine Orsini, Phil Penticost, Michael Niewdowski.
The White Belt is the most difficult belt to get, believe it or not, because people just can’t seem to get themselves started. Once you start, the next belt keeps you motivated to learn more, to achieve more. Mom’s you don’t have to start with a White Belt. You get a month free if you begin in the next 30 days, and to honor Mother’s Day, you will begin with a Pink Belt. Many of the women on that list above started on the same special and ended up earning their Black Belts. You can too, no, really, YOU. I’m serious. Whatever self-doubts you have, they had them too, or worse. You can do this, and you will love it. Talk to Mrs. Jannel or myself and let’s get you in class too.
At the very least parents, show your child how important they are and how important this training is. Be here for them and let them know you love watching them work hard, and improve.
Grandmaster Brown