Commitment
Sometimes we get parents who aren’t sure they want to sign their child up because they don’t want to make a commitment.
Our Lil’ Dragons program is a 6 month commitment. I had one mother hesitant to sign up, even though they loved the program because of the commitment. Here is what I wrote to her.
Most of our students are on 3 year and 5 year programs. Even most of our Lil’ Dragons are on 1 year programs.
Why do we require a commitment? Because we need time to accomplish what the parents say they want for their child. Whatever goals you have for your child are going to take time and we want to do what you hired us to do.
Like everything in life, you have to stick with it to see results. Honestly, we actually look forward to the day where the students hit a plateau, like we all do sometimes. A place where they say, “I don’t want to go,” and then find a way to get past it. If your child is normal, they will hit this point. What a great opportunity to learn self discipline and perseverance.
If you ask my adult students “How many of you didn’t want to come to class tonight,” they will laugh and many will raise their hands. If after class you ask, “How many of you are glad you attended tonight,” they will all laugh and raise their hands.
Children lack the ever-important frontal lobe of the brain until they are about 25 years old. That is the part of the brain for rational thought. They can’t make the rational leap that they will be glad when they get to class. They rely on parents for this reason.
You are making the decision from a standpoint of, “What if she doesn’t want to go?”
Speaking as a parent of two grown kids, and as a trained therapist, and as someone who has been doing this for 40 years, it is important to empower your child with letting them make choices. However, allow your children to choose between two good things, “You can have broccoli or green beans.” They don’t get to choose not eating vegetables.
I also think we should give them full power to decide things they do as amusements, such as soccer, dance, gymnastics and play. However, there are some things that they don’t’ get a choice in, it’s too important. Potentially life saving.
WE should choose what they are exposed to, their role models and who they play with at a young age. Too much of the time, bad choices made with peers leads to disaster. We need to make some decisions for them. The things that we know are good for them like learning to swim, eating their vegetables, doing chores and homework, learning to defend their lives. We need to let them know early, “This is a decision we’ve made for you, because we know things you don’t know. There are dangers in the world, doing these things will help you.”
There are four things your child is going to need to be taught as soon as we can. 1. They must learn to swim well. 2. They must learn to drive defensively (obviously not until 15). 3. They must learn to defend their lives and to stand up to bullies for the sake of their subconscious self esteem. 4. They must learn how to be safe online (in their lifetime especially).
She is young, you have time, but the earlier you build these ideas of YOU making important decisions for her, the easier it will be when she is older.
When you are ready for us to impart upon her the COONFIDENCE of earning stripes on her belt, and earning new belts, as well as seeing herself improve and master amazing skills, let us know. Naturally, we are going to help her learn what to do in stranger situations as well as bullying, but the biggest battles in life go on internally and the self esteem and confidence martial arts gives, is a powerful tool to fight those internal issues.
Take Care,
Grandmaster Brown